I feel like I have been doing well coping with the loss of my eye however, wearing the eye patches seems to make me feel more insecure than anything.

I find without my patch it still looks like I still have an eye there, it’s just red. There is a piece of plastic called a conformer in there to help hold the shape of my socket / lid and eith it’s shape, and being clear it just looks like I had an eye that has a broken blood vessel, or the likes.

I don’t wear an eye pacth 99.9% of the tiem whe I am home or around family / friends but the other day I ahd to go to a bridal shower and I fel as though everyone was staring at me. It makes me really insecure. I think I’d almost rather nothave the pacth because to me it seems less noticeable.

On another note: One month from Friday and I’ll have a shiny new prosthetic eye in there. I sure hope that month flies. I am kind of getting tired of waiting.

I had a checkup done on Wednesday, just before my three week post op date and everything is going well. The conformer had fallen out of my eye once, but I was able to put it back in myself correctly.

As of right now I do not have another checkup with my local eye doctor for a month, however, I will be making a trip back to the doctor who had preformed my surgery sometime soon.

I am currently suffering from a cold / sinus infection. I’ve noticed that snezing really hurts but I’ve been taking some allergy medication to help with that and so far so goof. Other than that there is not much new!

I’ve finally managed to take the time to upload some pre and post op photos of my eyes. I’ve taken quite a few, i am only going to post a few but I am thinking on making a photo album for them.

I know it may sound silly, but i really hate putting myself out here like this, but I am hoping that if anyone has to undergo what I did that these photos / this website can help them out.

I will post them below the cut, so if you do not want to see them you do not have to. They are not near as bad as you are probably imagining, I was quite suprised myself.

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My surgery was scheduled for April 16th at 10:30a.m. I was told to arrive by 8:30a.m and we did just that. Upon arriving, I sat down with a nurse and registered, answered a few questions and was given a bracelet. I was then asked to sit in the waiting room to be called in to the pre-operative area. Though I was only sitting there about an hour, it felt like a day.

Once my name was called my sister and I went in, she was able to stay with me until everything was prepared but then had to leave. Within 5 minutes I had one of those goofy hospital gowns on, booties, a hat and a warmed blanket. I was sitting in a chair answering the same questions I’ve been asked 10 times prior to surgery (basically medical history for my family and I). Around 10a.m they told my sister that she had to leave and to come back around 2:30 which is when they expected me to be out of recovery.

After my sister left, nervousness set in. I felt so sick to my stomach. There was an elderly lady sitting next to me having cataract surgery around the same time mine was scheduled, but we both found out soon after my sister leaving that both of our surgeries were delayed. I was also informed that even though the doctor requested I spend the night in hospital that I may be sent home due to a bed shortage. Of course this had me feeling quite anxious, but the lady next to me kept my mind off of things by talking.

Around 12:15p.m a nurse told me I would be next. By this time I was so ready to have it done that I would have done it myself (my eye had started aching at this point). About 10 minutes later the anaesthesiologist came out, explained a few things to me and I was wheeled into the operating room.

Upong entering the operating room I was told to lay down on the table. It was freezing cold in there so they gave me one of those wonderful warmed blankets. A blood pressure cup was attached to my arm, and an I.V was started. There were 6 men in the room and one woman. I remember one man saying it was my lucky day… i laughed. Next they put an oxygen mask on, ran the I.V, and I was out like a light.

I woke up in recovery at about 3p.m. My oxygen levels were extremely low so I was on a breathing machine. This scared me immesnly because a breathing tube was not discussed during any of my per-op appointments. It was removed about a half hour later but I had to keep oxygen on my through my nose for the rest of the night.

I arrived into my room at about 4p.m. I guess while I was being operated on they found me a bed. It was a shared room, but the girl that was in there with me had her right eye removed at 9 that same morning. It was good to have something in common with her. My sister was there to greet me. She had food, flowers, and a get well soon balloon. I felt great.

Throughout the rest of the evening mainly consisted of eating, sleeping and having my vitals checked. The doctor came in the enxt morning around 8a.m and released me with some medicine for paina nd an antibiotic for the eye and I was shopping later that day. I didn’t find the surgery near as painful as the pain I was having before.

I had a checkup on Tuesday, 4 days post op, where my pressure bandage was removed and I was able to just wear a regular eye patch or wrap around sunglasses. There was very little bruising and the eye didn’t look nearly as bad as i thought it would. I was told not to bend, strain or lift anything over 10lbs which makes it hard to care for my daughter but we have lots of help.

I have another checkup next Wednesday (may 5th) which would be about 18 days post op, i’ll be sure to update then.

I am so amazed at the overwhelming responses I’ve had through email, twitter, facebook, etc about my surgery. All of the wonderful and positive vibes I had sent my way really paid off.

I am currently home and recovering. I got home yesterday afternoon. The drive home was horrible and I am very sore, but doing okay. I am on some Tylenol #3′s with codeine and as long as they are taken on time the pain is very minimal.

I currently have a huge bandage like wrap over my eye, cheek, and forehead which means i am not able to put my reading glasses on. The bandage should be coming off tomorrow so I will work on a more detailed blog about the surgery and recovery so far once I can read well.

I am finding it very hard to stay awake. I am sleeping a lot which passes the time away. I just wanted to pop online here and let ya’ll know how i’m doing. Thanks again for all of the welll wishes and check back for a more detailed blog over the next day or two.

We are leaving to drive to the hospital tonight as it is a few hours away, my surgery will take place around 10:30a.m. I have to be there two hours early, and I cannot eat 12 hour before that. I am a food lover, but ti shouldn’t be too hard as I’ll be asleep for most of the day.

The doctor said my surgery can take 1-2hrs and that I’d be in the recovery room for the same amount of time. So, if all goes like they say it will (which im keeping my fingers crossed for) I should be out of recovery and into my room by 3p.m at which point I will try my best to update my twitter or this website.

Obviously I’m going to be groggy and maybe sore, so if there’s no updates don’t panic. haha. Im sure things will be okay. I am actually having quite the positive attitude about it now. The pain in that eye has been so bad the past few days that I couldn’t imagine it getting any worse.

Anyways, we are leaving in a few hours and I’m still not showered or completely packed. I also want to be able to spend time with my daughter before we go. I’m going to miss her so much. I should be back on Sunday though!

P.S: Didn’t get the pictures up but I have them, so before surgery, during recovery and after recovery pictures will be coming soon. Promise.

One thing I have stated over and voer again was how I want to add before and after pictures / videos of myself and my eyes. I can’t help but feel a little anxious about putting myself out there like that for all to see. What I am hoping for is some positive feedback as well as to help other people cope with the loss of an eye or perhaps even having a blind eye.

I am currently in the process of uploading some photos and working on a video. I am trying to bring myself to post them, and I’m sure I will I just want to throw the old saying ‘If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all’ out there.

Watch for a new post soon! (with pictures)

I’ve been reading up alot on my eye surgery and have actually been in contact with a few people that have had the surgery. The most recent person I’ve found was on youtube. He has many videos including, 3 days after surgery, 9 days after surgery, 20 days after surgery, the making of the eye, movement of his new eye and so on.

I thought I would share the link to the videos with you, so click here if you are interested. For those who may have to go through this it may be something that will help you cope with what is to come. The videos really helped me & have inspired me to keep track with videos, pictures and blogging. I hope you enjoy.

Just wanted to pop on and say Happy Easter to everyone.

Today has been a very busy day between visitors, visiting, and just being outside. My eye is extremely sore after being out in the sun today. Even when I wear the darkest of sunglasses it seems so sensitive which sounds weird considering I can’t see out of it. I took a Tylenol and am now home for the night. I am hoping the headache eases up soon.

I hope you all are enjoying your easter weekend. Only 12 days until my surgery now. I am feeling quite relaxed about it today, which is a plus

I had a checkup with my optometrist this morning, everything went well. My pressure was 12 & I was reading at 20/25 scale with my left eye. Obviously my right eye is blind so there is not much to be said on it’s behalf.

She wrote out a prescription for new reading glasses as my vision had changed so I went and ordered them, $375 and two pairs later I left. I can’t wait for them to come in I really like the style on them compared to the ones I have now. The clerk said they should be in within 14 days, I am hoping they are in before my surgery (i will be leaving 14 days from today).

My head has been running a mile a minute about my enucleation. I keep saying I am not worried or scared but then I find myself playing different scenarios over in my head of things that could go wrong. Sometimes I find it hard to just relax and put in out of my head for a while.

My major worry is that the wrong eye would be taken accidentally. Most people sort of laugh when I say this but it truly is a worry. My second worry is what kind of pain I will feel when I wake up & whether or not I will vomit. Every time I’ve been under anaesthesia i have had severe vomiting afterwards. I will be mentioning this in my pre-op visit though. As far as the pain I wonder if it will just hit me out of nowhere, will it gradually come, will it even bother me as much as I am thinking it will? The surgery itself is not really of any concern to me, I am confident in my doctor and that he will do an amazing job.

I am hoping to take some pictures or videos of myself before, during, and after the whole process. I think it would be helpful for anyone else who may have to experience this in the future.